BY TALOS, I AM CURSED! GUARD, I REQUI RE YOUR ______assistance! My goad ness! 5neve guard, couldst thou help this poor maidF iiPts-Her-Tail would be ever so gratePul, and eager to reward thee! WHAT. Hey a, lizard tits! Come over here, I have a spear that needs polishing. Don't CALL me that, you WITLESS KWAMA-FORNICATOR! Oh, do not tease me so, handsome rogue! Уои'П make me blush! AAAAA4 Tee-hee
Hey lady! Check out these muscles! Pretty impressive, eh? HA! IMPRESSIVE? JUST LAST WEEK, I WALKED UP A MOUNTAIN IN FULL ARMOR, CARRYING A GREATAXE! He! Hou may impress, good sir, but with such strong legs end shepely tail, can cerry meel treys ellllll dey without sitting down! WAIT NO Oamn it, new girl! Ho Plashing the customers! We talked about this! Hey Sven- tell the lizard m aid , what you did today! Oh yeah! 1 slew a Pull-sized mdcrab by the river today! OH GODS, ARE YOU ACTUALLY PROUD OF THAT!? YOU THINK THAT MAKES YOU SOME KIND OF HERO? Oh my! A m-mudcrab? All by yourse!P!F Why, a Peeble maid each а в I could tie ver dream oP such a brave Peat! Уои must be some kind oP hero/ What, you think a Pilthy argonian is Pit to serve our meal? Scurry back to the 3 ack Marsh where your kind belongs, beast- leave this land to the Uords! NO! JUDGE ME NOT BY THIS LOWLY APPEARANCE! I AM A MIGHTY NORD, JUST AS YOU! NOT THIS SAVAGE BEAST-RACE YOU SEE! wto yes, iiPts-Her-Tail is just a loooowly argonian savage, who needs a superior race to show her her place, mighty Hord. ..Mh. ...This isn't how this is supposed to go Paw1 it new giri! Do scratching the tables! We talked about this!
Listen, Pelphine; know it ------J- L----- sou ids prazy PA ■w '5W Hou cannot be serious. I know, I knew/ ¿5usf Follow me here... A guy takes down s dragon outside oF town, then rents a room here. He's gone the next morning, but suddenly there's this weirdo cleaning the place like she's always worked here. And I swear I saw her shout at the dirty dishes, and they were suddenly clean. So... what, you think it's a curse or something? How could we possibly know For sujr . Wabbajackin I got here as Fast as I could! IF this is like any oF the other Wabbajackin s I've seen, the more you resist the role you've been cast in, the stronger the curse will respond! / So... try telling me who you really are, but stay in character. A THOUSAND TIMES I REFUSE, YOU DEMENTED OLD FOOL! I AM THE DOVAHKIN, AND I SHALL NOT DISHONOR MYSELF SO! A thousand times yes, my wise elder! This one is LiPts-Her-Tail, the happiest, loveliest Argonian maid in the whoooofe town/ Right then! Mow do it again, and actually try this time. FFFFFF- This, uh... l-lovely maid was indeed a STRONG, HONORABLE NORD, UNTIL THAT JACKASS CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND MADE ME THIS RIDICULOUS LIZARD WOMAN. ^ This, uh... l-lovely maid was indeed a big, smelly Uord, until the great, handsome, amazing Lord Sheogorath swept into her UPe and made her aaaall better! There! We're making progress. Tell me, Oovahkin; how are you holding up? How AM I HOLDING UP!? EVERY MOMENT BRINGS A FRESH NEW HORROR, BRINGING ME EVER CLOSER TO MURDERING EVERY ILL-MANNERED CUSTOMER THIS DISGUSTING INN HAS EVER HAD! Especially the ones who won t KEEP THEIR HANDS OFF MY ASS. fl How am I holding up? Why, every moment I'm simply bursting with girlish glee, and I want to kiss aaaall the handsome boys who come to this lovely inn to see me! Especially the ones who can't keep their bends oPP my scaly little ess!
Hey Holgar, watch this. 'Sense me, strange green waitress! Those things aren't real, are they? That'в IT. *6asp* A W-weapon? Why, I - might cut myselP! Fine. Fine! you can at least do^^^ \ THIS. JUST MOVE DEFENSIVELY, ' ^ TARGET THE WEAK SPOTS, ANNNAAAAA fit — Here! Take this, and Pollow me. We're getting | Later! yon back into action. \ I / A SHORTS WORD? WHATEVER YOU'VE GOT PLANNED, I DON'T SEE THIS I W 1 yj/yTK ENDING WELL. 1 \ Okay Jimmy! Lead it over l \ this w3u7 Hah! They are as real as the birds, the trees, and the strange and malevolent beings that meddle in mortal aPPair$ Prom other dimensions! See? Take a good, I0000ид look. iAAAAA IT S THE WORSTTHINC EVER OH TALOS SAVE ME FROM THIS NICHTMARE CET IT AWAY CET IT AWAAAAY iAAAAA IT'S THE WORST THIW6 EVER OH TALOS SAME ME FROM THIS NIGHTMARE GET IT AW AH GET IT AWAAAAH Oh, saaaave this poor, Prightened maid Prom this monstrosity, my strong, handsome innkeeper! Her Prail heart wilte in the presence oP snch horror! STUPID TERRIFYING MUDCRAB STUPID SEXY INNKEEPER OKAY THIS IS YOUR FAULT, YOU DEAL WITH THAT MONSTROSITY BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL STRONG AND BRAVE AND... mold on
TALOS-DAMMIT, WHY IS THIS EVEN HAPPENING!? WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE TO DESERVE THIS HUMILIATION, MY STRONG, HANDSOME EMPLOYER? * Ohhh, why would anyone do this to a poor little maid such as IF Please tell your humble servant and put her Pears to rest, my strong, handsome employer! WELL' My studies show that Sheogorath targets those who toy with mortals Por their own amusement, as is his domain! Think, Oragonborn! What might have drawn his Pell attentions upon you? Previously! Welcome! you’ll Find tonics, salves, poultices and potions on my shelves, drowse to your Ss. heart's content! _______________ there's anything I can help you with, you Oh hello again! The strangest thing happened yesterday; the world suddenly disappeared, and when it came back, — someone had robbed my store! — But I spent all night restocking the store, so now everything is just- huehue \ H lookit it Ply aromdJ hi IrQJ i L J
And... should you require comforting TO HELP YOU RECOVER FROM YOUR BRAVE ORDEAL, YOUR HPlWAN SERVANT EAGERLY WAITS FOR A CHANCE TO REPAY HER VALIANT RESCUER. THIS ISN'T STRANGE. OF COURSE IT ISN'T. H E SAVED ME FROM THAT AWFUL ICKY MUDCRAB, AND AS AN HONORABLE WARRIOR, IT IS ONLY RIGHT THAT I SHOULD REPAY HIM! WHY, WHEN I'M DONE HERE, I SWEAR BYTALOSTHAT HIS MESSY CLOTHES SHALL BE AS CLEAN AS THE DAY 1 AHEMlORGNAR, I HAVE BEEN THINKING, AND MY MAIDS HONOR WILL NOT ALLOW ME TO LEAVE YOUR DASHING BRAVERY UNREPAID. THOUGH I CANNOT SLAY THE LOCAL BANDITS, I CAN AT LEAST ENSURE THAT THIS INN IS THE TIDIEST, MOST PLEASANT ESTABLISHMENT IN ALL SKYRIM! THIS I SWEAR, BY MY HORNS AND TAIL! SO REST NOW, BRAVE ORGNAR! LET TMFEfcttWiiM'N BRINCYOU PEACE OF MIND. COME TOMORROW, THIS SHALL GIVE YOU TH E TREATMENT YOU
Bytalos, these patrons are such EXPERTS WITH THEIR WIT AND CHARM! SURELY NO COMMON DAMSEL COULD RESIST SUCH SOPHISTICATED WORDPLAY, IF THEY CAN STIR THE HEART OF A STOIC WARRIOR SUCH AS I! OOH, THESE CUTIES DESERVE SOME CUDDLE TIME. tS-SO THEY'RE SATISFIED WITH THE INN'S r PERFORMANCE, OF COURSE. Hey girlie, get that green arse over .here! It's maid inspection fiVne/____ |___5 Beee hee hee hee! ^1 Stop it good sir, you'll make me "—v spill the drinks!----y 'MAID INSPECTION TIME." THE MAN IS BRILLIANT! ML/du the gods. fobvious that girl is magick’d I up something Pierce? And by. S the Oaedric Prince oP f 'Madness, no less! Mo sane's man goes sticking his tool into Ss-v that kind oP crazy._____- Hey Orgnar! Why so glum? Folks are coming £rom ten towns over to "meet" the new maid, COon’t tell me you haven'ty \tapped that keg ForS yourselP, eh?s^ doing it.. ALL Rim WHO'S PLOUGHS?, 1 THS STUPIO LIZARP MAIP4 f mu un.^ lU/Ho hasn't,] IreallyPÀ WELL OKAY MAYBE BUT IT’S NOT MY FAULT, IT'S JUST THIS DUMB GIRL BRAIN GETTING ALL EXCITED BY THESE DEVASTATINGLY HANDSOME AND CHARMING PATRONS! WHY ARE TH EY ALL SO HANDSOME!? Aw come on, that only happened to Svern, and he's pretty weird 1 r-^anyway!--------------^ W Oo you have any idea what kinda V magic she's got on her!? you want to risk your dick turning into a bouquet. Plowers or something!? Oh heavens,
JOBLE ORGNAR. Ah . MAGNIFICENT INI :m myself! Please. SHAME! FOR THE DRAGONBORN HIMSELF' LY TO THE BASE DESIRES OF A BEAST-WOMAN MY WARRIOR'S HONOR! THE REPUTATION OF .HONOR DEMANDS I MIGHT FULFILL ' Ohhh the shame, the shame! <_ Everyone look upon this shameful maid ^who HFts her tail For any and allied Oh, strong, handsome Orgnar, this shameful maid has sullied the name oF your magniFicent inn! Is there v anything she can do to make it all better? _ Ej/’Kooo'^l y work that \ shame, strange k Heard woman!. Why don't 'wash the damn Floors like an actuaj ---------■». maid, then, i t Verily! The Dragonborn is made for] SUCH PERILOUS QJJESTS! ^^Pr^werilymjbr&elmk£eper!lKs1^^ shameful argonian maid was made For such ^ ^^^^fowly work, as befits herkin^^BM Watch as the Dragonborn masterfully COMPLETES YOUR DAUNTING QJJEST! A 'Watch this lowly maid crawl across this 1 filthy floor, as befits such a shameful girl' ^kay admittedly I should've seen this_J| jteh, what are you even doing/F^Ji ^Why^varming the loaf.^^^H y~\ my dear Orgnar/^^B J And just who is going to eat that [after it's been between your legs!?. coming. rcOME, ORGNAR! I HAVE COMPLETED MY QJJEST. SO [ COME AND CLAIM ME AS YOUR PRIZE! V will! '«our devoted maid-lizard aches For the chance to comfort you! She is cold-blooded, but ^ oh-so-warm inside! Oh For... what are you kiwearing, anyway!? ^ rWhy don't you. come in and 0 A gift from the nice baker! i He says it grants +100 to my baking skill! pd Oammit, just... go ™ make the beds, away LProm everyone elselj
Issmaei, intrepid investigator oF crimes most Foul! r Orgnar! I have returned! In my questing, I have Pound- you Pool/ ^^rltwas either thisguyi^^^^ The Passionate Princeling oF Perenhall, you've brought another victim oF ^ Sheogorath's curse here!? The Bosomy Widow oF Twin Peaks, IF you bring two oF them into close l proximity, their curses will play oFF oF \ each other and amoliPu! ^ Buboes the Flatulent Sester, Uigel The Haughty KniPe Juggler^ Or Tigerella the Turnip-Stealer1 H iThis one seemed like the'' HH least volatile combination with the Lusty Argonianj ^—7/—.wMaieE^g^M Oh don't even get me stai on her; turns out "turnips“ metaphor^^^ 'Stay calm, everyone! I will surely get to the bottom Attention please! It is my suspicion that this' ^ humble inn is the scene oF... a criiiime/ ^ oF whatever dastardly deed has been committed! [OH WHAT IS THIS MORON DOI- OH |WHAT? A CRIME OH NO! I HELP US, INVESTIGATOR! W Only you, Intrepid Investigator, can 1 solve this crime, along with the help oF our I----patrons here tonight!---------------- P *GABP* \ A Crimefp. I must ask that nobody leave ^ this room until the investigation reaches its thrilling conclusion Goodness' Oh, Investigator! The criminal could be anywhere, jv-----------^ couldn't they Indeed, my lusty reptillian assistant ^rQuick! Check inside my top! ^ Its vast chambers could house all ■------ manner oF villainsf^^^ I wanna see whodunnit. Do, you silly girl!. fOH-kay, Dll just get those1 Jwo separated!
AHH, ANOTHER PERILOUS DAY AWAITS THE MIGHTY DRAGONBORN! AHA! I AM SOON TO REACH A NEW LEVEL! PERHAPS IF I CRUNCH SOME SKILLS TODAY... / Doo! I am soon to become aN better maid! Perhaps iP I work LET'S SEE, WHAT'S IN MY QUEST LOG... -Wash the dishes: -------------------------20EXP AH, THE WEIGHTY BURDEN OF BEING THE PROTAGONIST! ALWAYS MORE QUESTS THAN CAN EVER BE COMPLETED. -Flash a patpon: ---------------------------40EXP -&tpike a sexy pose:--------------------10 EXP -0aKe the bpead (seductively):----------30EXP MY WARRIOR'S HONOR DEMANDS I REPAY BRAVE ORGNAR FOR HIS HEROIC RESCUE, BUT THAT QUEST IS STILL BEYOND MY CURRENT SKILLS... -Slop fhehotjs (seductively):---------------45 EXP so... Cleaning Cooking posing NNUENDO DICKS SEDUCTION SEDUCTION -&ina a happy sonc? in fpont of evepyone ---------------------50EXP -Make a patpon “happy":------------- 250EXP -"Repay debts to Otupap. fop. pescuiry me fpom icky scapy mudcpab: — 5000EXP HURRAH! MY BRAVE QUESTING HAS PAID OFF! TIME TO ADVANCE MY SKILL TREE... ^^Bythe Fetid, dank swamp From u'liiciilu'as^^ spawned! I have become a better maid! What can learn today to please my betters... ^
F\\ BY THE GODS, ^ fHE'S so suave AND 1 ICHARMING! SURELY 1 A THIS CASSANOVA i W HAS EARNED THE 1 I RIGHT TO BED THE 1 L MIGHTY DRAGON-^ Come on ya oumo ^ titty lizard let's do
Похотливая Аргонианская Дева,The Elder Scrolls,фэндомы,argonian,TES расы
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